Did you all get the wake-up call real early this morning?
You know, one of the first things that popped into my head was about my neighbor.
Oh, God.
This is really an auspicious thing.
I'm gonna do a little old-timer memory here.
Apropos, nothing special, but… You know, I go up and down the steps.
Between… The dorm building, and the community building.
The first two times I was here.
In the early 2000s.
Oreoki was served in the Zendo.
And servers ran up and down.
steps.
Thank goodness for change.
So this business of working with self is… can be really slippery and tricky… trick… tricky.
On the one hand, the harder we try.
The more we're working against ourself.
It's just the dynamic of the psyche.
It doesn't want us to see behind the curtains.
And yet, you know,
We have to show up, right?
They have to have the intention.
I was reflecting.
On… what Bachelor pointed out about the fourth link, you know, there's form, feeling, perceptions… Intention and attention.
In the fourth lick.
So that's, it's, you know, the dynamic with the consciousness and the fourth link, it's locating experience to hear.
To this skin bag.
But intention and attention starting right there.
Being awake.
Right before contact.
Awareness.
Isn't this guy by name at… Tejania.
I mentioned him a lot last year when I was here. I had little… his little…
Encouragements, some of them we had posted up around the campus.
He's a, vipassana teacher in, in Myanmar.
And one of his students, Doug McGill, who lives in Minnesota, in Rochester, Minnesota.
does the daily paganea, and… His demeanor, his spirit that he conveys, and that is…
Try, but don't try too hard.
And when I say that when we try too hard in this, it can work against us.
What we're really… what really is happening there is that when we're trying too hard, we're probably activating, keeping things that we're really trying to
ease away from.
The ego dynamic, selfing dynamic.
One of the people in the Zen group I work with.
calls it, he says, I can tell that I'm being performative.
There's another thing I ponder,
So, you know, when we're talking about the study of the self, my sense is that to study the Buddha and to study the self, we're still using the self to study the self.
Which brings me back to using the mind to study the mind.
And then our, you know, in our, in our, in our discussions, our sharing around, The left-right hemisphere dynamics.
We always… we're always pretty quick in these conversations I've had, not only here, but elsewhere, always really quick to come back. Well, we have to… we have to make sure we never lose touch with the left.
We're really… we're really quick to come back to that.
When I think about that, when I think about what's going on in the world.
Where has it gotten us?
Really?
When we talk about practice, we talk about you know.
Getting in touch with our innate wisdom.
How much wisdom are we seeing around us?
What are we afraid of?
I'm old, I'm not so afraid of it anymore. I know, you know, my career's over with.
All I have to worry about is my wife and my daughter and son-in-law and grandchild.
You know, and I'm pretty cozy with that, you know?
And I can be pretty goofy.
You know, and all that, but does this mean being goofy?
What is this wisdom?
Is it our egoism?
I don't think so.
I was… when… when…
Hootie was here, and these other women, a couple of weeks ago, and they were talking about,
Spargo Shuler's work, her husband's work, and it reminded me of… there's a book
have to add it to the list, and I just got the list all done.
In the spell of the sensuous.
And, gosh, I'm really blanking on the author's name right now.
But…
He talks about, when he was doing his post-doctorate work way back when, and he was actually going to do it on magicians, and he wanted to do it on, you know, the aspect of, you know, shamans and magicians, that dynamic.
And so he went to live with shamans in Bali and elsewhere in Southeast Asia.
One of the first things that he discovered was shamans, He, she, shamans.
Always lived at the edge of the village. They never lived in it.
And the reason why is, is that they wanted to maintain contact with human And other than human.
Why?
Because to keep things in balance.
Now, the villagers thought that, you know, the shaman was primarily to keep them healthy, you know, a healer, like a healer type of thing.
But the shaman only saw their jobs, their role as… First off, this, this… intermediary between… Human and non-human.
Listening.
So they, they, they spoke, you know, they spoke different languages. You know, they could hear different languages. They were attuned differently.
Because they could tell when things were out of balance.
Between the human and non…
It almost… the sense of… The Spirit in the song of the grassroof Roof.
I think the world, you know, and this is, for me, this is where
my sense of where the practice is positioning me. I feel the world differently. I, you know, I don't need…
intense oneness experiences.
Because the being is shifting.
It's a… it's tuning to the world. I feel the… I feel the world differently.
I can feel the sharpness.
and the pain, and the anger, I feel that more acutely, too.
Because, as Dogan tells us, that's all Buddha Dharma.
That's all part of it.
But what I also feel is this, like I keep saying, is this incredible love, that it just… it keeps… it keeps everything…
imbalance.
In order.
And I think that's… and I can feel it, you know.
I can feel it in my practice, that softening of selfie.
You feel it.
You do. And maybe, you know, in Sasheen here.
Maybe yesterday, maybe today, you feel a shift.
There's a shift that happens in Sasheen.
You come in, and the being is kind of resisting it. This is an abrupt
switch here, to come into Sasheen, from your busy worlds.
And to just sit facing a wall.
Not being able to pick up this and do this.
Not being able to, oh, well, I'm gonna go shopping, whatever, whatever we do to keep ourselves other than from…
With… other than with ourselves.
And there's a lot to be learned from ourselves.
in this… grassroots… Hermitage.
It's all right here.
It's amazing what you can learn.
And then how'd that… Manifest in your experience in the world, what you continue to learn.
One thing that you learn is what you begin to ponder, what is this self?
What is this?
What is it we think of as self?
When we really become alive to, you know, it starts out as an conceptual something, intellectual something.
And then, you know, we bounce this word, interbeing, around a lot. We think, oh, that's cool, you know, I'm getting it. But it's embodiment.
And when we… and when we really…
it really… it's… it's coming in, it's coming in, and it's just as simply as what Dan Siegel pointed out in the listening passage.
Where do I start?
And you begin.
Is there a definite?
Something, or they're two separate selves.
Not too.
So, there's something we go from…
Using the mind to use, you know, to study the self, to use the self to study the self, and then something else begins to happen.
And my suggestion is, is once the… in practice, once that ego side of this… we need it, yes, we need it…
But… Once it begins to quiet, something else is coming forward.
as Ian McGilchrist said, the master.
The wisdom, the wisdom side.
It's interesting, though, joe Bolte-Taylor also points out that
The emotional, right, right hemisphere emotional sort of doesn't have any breaks.
And is kind of like a teenager behind the wheel of a car, and just learning to drive, you know, behind the wheel of a car.
It's kind of that dynamic.
And so, that has to be tempered.
Although Siegel also points out in his book, Brainstorm, about the adolescent brain.
There is that element of adolescent spirit that we want to maintain for the rest of our lives.
coming back to Tejania, you know, he's… he's a… Don't try too hard.
But be aware.
Don't try too hard, be awake.
Be curious.
Over and over, he says that,
And when he's doing this, he's not talking about just when your fanny's on the cushion.
All the time.
Being awake.
And so bringing this awareness more, more continually, with more intent and attention…
is changing the neural pathways, and… and what I've noticed is there's… something shifts.
Something shifts, and this momentum builds.
You feel it.
The being orients more in this direction.
It feels when things are really out of whack.
I don't need… I don't need this…
so much telling me, you feel it. Genuinely you feel it. Is… is… is… are things… in attunement.
You feel that? I don't know.
And there's a sort of… there's a sort of corrective thing that happens.
It's almost… it gets faster.
That wasn't probably the most skillful thing.
Maybe I, I, I better, repair.
Pretending to better repair.
After eating, I relax and enjoy.
When it was completed, fresh weeds appeared.
Or do this work?
We do this work, and still the weeds appear.
Being awake and with the tension.
Over and…
You know, very patiently.
Can stay with it.
Perishable or not, the original master is present. Trusting that.
Trusting it.
The proof is in the pudding.
I don't like chocolate, by the way.
The proof is in the police.
And I think, you know, that resistance is coming from the psyche, you know, the emissary, that's the emissary in us.
And… It's, you know… You know, we were talking yesterday, the back-and-forth dynamic.
But we gotta, we gotta really be…
Serious? Take the… take that pushback seriously.
The practice opens us up if we're genuine and sincere in the practice and continue with it.
If we work in… Community.
Songa.
how we are with each other in Sangha.
You know, in our lives, in our marriages, our partnerships, whatever.
You know, listen… The other, in our relationships, you know, they… They may not be practitioners.
But they're telling us something. They may not have it right, but they… you know, they got their stuff coming up forward, too. Their condition patterns coming up, too.
And we, and we, when we…
When we understand and appreciate that.
You know, making rocks out of them stops.
Let's things soften, and we can appreciate, and begin, maybe.
and 10, too.
Always tending to… Carefully.
Patiently.
Curiously.
What's it like when our lives aren't wrapped up in the picking and choosing?
In our normal… Just simply when the habit patterns begin to quiet.
What's that like?
Interesting line.
Well, I was let go of hundreds of years and relaxed completely.
Hundreds of years ago.
Money.
How many ears? How many… Centuries, how many millennia of conditioning are coming right down through you right now?
Open your hands and walk innocent.
If you want to know the undying person in the hospital.
Don't separate from this skin bag here and now.
It's all right here.
That's it, that's all.
Are there any questions?
A little over 10 minutes.
Unless there's a…
maybe someone has the schedule. Is there a break between now and summer, or do we go until 11? We go till 11.
What about 10.
It's weird.
I keep telling myself that I should keep my mouth shut during these talks, and it's just, I can't.
Resist.
Coming up with these nonsensical… Comments and questions.
There are a couple now. One of the things about self not being able to study self, I always liken it to a…
Knife not being able to cut his own hand.
But you can't really… Use it to credits.
And second about this… Working harder and harder to get somewhere.
Reminds me of this story that…
There was this alley cat that was walking in the very rigid neighborhood.
On one of the fences, he was walking, it sees this cute, beautiful dog.
You dear it.
It's just going around and chasing its tail.
Keeps going.
And it says, hey, what are you doing?
My owners are very rich. They send me to dog philosophy school.
And there they told me that…
The dog's happiness is in its tail.
And I said, if I can catch it, then I'll be happy.
And the cat just this morning, sir.
You know, I don't have any rich…
the owners, and I haven't gone to any philosophy school, but I've realized the same thing, that indeed.
My happiness is in mine.
Tail.
But also, I have realized that if I just go along about doing my own business, it just follows me.
I don't have to do anything, it's just be myself, and it follows me.
So, again… One of those things, and one final question is this right, right and left vein.
Which one of these, Oliver?
More important, the survival.
Because the right brain, when we're looking at it, it's risk-taker.
They're both important for survival, that's…
Almost every organism, creature in existence has a bilateral.
Just not us. So we can't just discard one at the end. We can't discard one at the end? No. Okay.
One, just, just, like, from the survival aspect.
One takes in the big picture.
And one starts picking out the details.
Okay? So they work in tandem.
Thank you.
Thank you for the talk.
I'm… Sitting with a question about this… Bodhidharma quote.
On one hand.
as best I remember it is… Ew.
You use mind to study mind.
You missed the mark.
But if you don't use mine, To study mine.
Hit the mark.
Probably missing a few words in there.
And also this passage from… Doga, that…
You've shared a couple of times. To study the Buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self.
And it continues on.
So when I have these… Two teachings together.
I wonder… If we could say… to study the Buddha way, Is to forget the self.
move straight from… The first… to the third, and… skip over.
If you will.
The second, and that's my… Where it seems… like…
Understanding what you've been sharing this week, we can get stuck.
So, what I want to ask is, if… What, that seems… possible? Or…
plausible, or correct, or something in your view, or if…
trying to sum it up as, to study the Buddha way, is to forget the self misses something important that Jogin's trying to share with us in between.
What it misses is the study itself.
I think that,
I really appreciate that being in there, because in a lot of Mahayana, that's never mentioned.
Right?
And, in, in my experience, It's not.
vast, but in my experience over the years, I rarely hear that.
Study the self.
And we forget it.
We get hooked up on what does this mean, what does this mean, I'm gonna study this sutra, what does this mean?
And I gotta, I gotta make sure I read all these sutras, and then when I read these sutras.
You know, it, it takes, it takes us all up in the head, Away from the self.
And so that's why I really appreciate that being in there.
You know, he's connecting us back to the early teachings there.
They say, don't forget.
Yeah, so it's… it's, it's the work, it's… it's the study of the self is… it brings, it brings up this dynamic of using the mind to study the mind.
It wants us to be in there.
Because it's a, it's a deeply rooted… it's deeply something in there that needs to be tended to.
So, as a follow-up question.
It sounds like… Dogan is offering…
Dogan is opening up.
Bodhi Dharma's quote, in a way, to identify something really important.
practice.
straight to forgetting the self, but engage with the self.
And that's what… that's my sense of what…
Dogan is doing in all of his work.
You know, is that in starting with
by and large, Kachana, this world, relies on the duality of it is and it is not.
So that's… that very, that very passage is what Nargajuna started his work with.
And the spirit of the dependent arising.
And, and then, I think I'll come back to this tomorrow.
with Dogan.
But he was saying, you know, we're talking about how we are conditioning, we condition by language.
And, you know, so he takes stuff like dreams, and he says, well, you know, dreams…
are what we… you know, in traditional language, in our… in our… in the Buddha Dharma, dreams are just… they don't… they're just… they don't exist, so we just go like this with them.
But dreams arise due to causes and conditions, right?
The same thing with self. Self arises due to causes and conditions.
And so, he was saying, let's spend some time with this. What do dreams tell us? What… and this helps us see… alter our relationship with dreams.
And with the world.
He's continually doing this.
It's the same pattern.
You know, from that passage, the duality of it is and is not going through Narga Juna, it's there in, it's there in Koans and in Doga. That, to me, is the heart of Doga.
Yeah, he's… you know, he talks about the cook, you know, the cook?
You know, being very careful with the rice.
Looking for rocks in the rice.
Dogan was very careful.
You mentioned, I don't know if we have time for this, but you mentioned in your talk about, shaman, shamanism?
Is there a role for that in general?
I mean, when we… You know, as a meal, we talk about the different bodhisattvas and stuff.
I just wonder, if… if that… If there's a… shamanistic route that…
Plays into what you're talking about, about the self.
Can we come back to that this afternoon?
Thank you.